Ill-gotten Dog
The TV reporter is interviewing the bandaged up robber in his hospital bed.
“Sir, I understand you’ve been successfully robbing people for 25 years?”
Robber responds: “Yes, it was a good living. I only spent two cushy vacations in jail. I had credit cards, fancy cars, nice clothes, and paid no taxes.”
Reporter moves on with his query: “Some reports indicate you were really innovative and had dynamic robbery ideals. What is that all about?”
Robber: “The best place to find victims was at parking lots near dancing classes at night. Happy couples are so easy to rob, it got boring…So I got creative.”
Reporter: “How so?”
Robber: “After a while, it’s almost too easy to point a gun or a knife at some dude and demand: “Your money or your life”. So I changed the routine to: “Your car or your life.” I got a Mercedes, and a Hummer the first night”
The best gig was to ransom them back to their owners. That worked well, and I hired helpers, because some nights I got 3 or 4 cars.”
Reporter: How did you end up in this hospital predicament?”
Robber: “Naturally, taking got boring, so I tried, “Your wife or your life” for a while, but there was no money in that. The women wouldn’t go back to their men, and it was expensive, trying to keep all these women happy. Heck, I gather it was worse than being married.”
“Then I found a parking lot at a dance studio in Vancouver. This night a happy couple came trippsing out of the dance lessons, and I accosted them for my standard hold up The pretty blonde lady was with a bald man: they had a flea bitten worthless little dog and went to get in a 3 year old Ford SUV.
Obviously they had no money, an old car, and I felt really sorry for the lady, so I said in my deep robber voice: :“Your Yorkie or your life!”.
The old guy handed me the leash, and they blissfully waltzed on down the street, like Fred and Ginger in one of those old movies. That was amazing”.
“I bent to pick up the growling Yorkie. What a mistake that was!
“Now I have 147 stitches holding my arms and legs together. One thumb and my trigger finger are missing. Lucky for me, those paramedics and policemen are pretty good at chasing angry Yorkies away. Somewhere that nasty little dog is still gnawing on the finger he ripped off”.
“Sir, I understand you’ve been successfully robbing people for 25 years?”
Robber responds: “Yes, it was a good living. I only spent two cushy vacations in jail. I had credit cards, fancy cars, nice clothes, and paid no taxes.”
Reporter moves on with his query: “Some reports indicate you were really innovative and had dynamic robbery ideals. What is that all about?”
Robber: “The best place to find victims was at parking lots near dancing classes at night. Happy couples are so easy to rob, it got boring…So I got creative.”
Reporter: “How so?”
Robber: “After a while, it’s almost too easy to point a gun or a knife at some dude and demand: “Your money or your life”. So I changed the routine to: “Your car or your life.” I got a Mercedes, and a Hummer the first night”
The best gig was to ransom them back to their owners. That worked well, and I hired helpers, because some nights I got 3 or 4 cars.”
Reporter: How did you end up in this hospital predicament?”
Robber: “Naturally, taking got boring, so I tried, “Your wife or your life” for a while, but there was no money in that. The women wouldn’t go back to their men, and it was expensive, trying to keep all these women happy. Heck, I gather it was worse than being married.”
“Then I found a parking lot at a dance studio in Vancouver. This night a happy couple came trippsing out of the dance lessons, and I accosted them for my standard hold up The pretty blonde lady was with a bald man: they had a flea bitten worthless little dog and went to get in a 3 year old Ford SUV.
Obviously they had no money, an old car, and I felt really sorry for the lady, so I said in my deep robber voice: :“Your Yorkie or your life!”.
The old guy handed me the leash, and they blissfully waltzed on down the street, like Fred and Ginger in one of those old movies. That was amazing”.
“I bent to pick up the growling Yorkie. What a mistake that was!
“Now I have 147 stitches holding my arms and legs together. One thumb and my trigger finger are missing. Lucky for me, those paramedics and policemen are pretty good at chasing angry Yorkies away. Somewhere that nasty little dog is still gnawing on the finger he ripped off”.
posted by Daniela | 7:09 PM
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