A Man's Thermos
A man’s thermos is a tremendously personal item. It carries the coffee, day in, day out, for many years. Alladin thermoses are famous for longevity.
The thermos bounces around in boats,and pick up trucks,and beemers and rolls around amidst dogs and guns and fish, and occasionally bounces out of the truck or boat. rolling and floating. A good thermos develops an outside veneer of scars and scrapes and dings, each a “badge of courage” of sorts.
Inside the thermos, each successive pot of coffee leaves an indelible residue stain sometimes several millimeters thick. After some years, this stain can get thick enough to offend members of the opposite sex.
Sometimes we must accede to their wishes and clean the thermos, somewhat grudgingly and perhaps giving only a token cleaning.
Ways to clean one’s thermos:
1. Do it yourself. Most of us men accomplish this satisfactorily by rinsing the thing out with cold water….once a month or so. Still, the veneer of stain builds up, but doesn’t affect the coffee taste too much. If the thermos NEVER sees soap, the coffee will not taste like soap. Life is good.
2. Contract with a woman willing to clean the thermos for a period of time. This usually entails other contracts, such as the “m” (marriage) word. I did this, but after 15 years, she decided that my thermos could revert to the #1 method, “or else she walks”. I didn’t pursue that subject. My coffee tastes like soap oftener than not.
3. Leave your thermos (or favorite coffee pot) where it falls into the clutches of a woman who carries anti-bacterial soap and vinegar and uses it for all tasks. Commonly these ladies have professional titles such as “head nurse” or “medical instructor”.
They will subject your poor innocent thermos to several hours of boiling with hot vinegar and other chemicals. You won’t even recognize the poor creature anymore. It will be clean, and perhaps pounds lighter than when you last used it. When you arrive home, the odor of hot vinegar permeates the neighborhood.
All your neighbors will know,”The thermos from hell is now clean”.
Such is fate.
The thermos bounces around in boats,and pick up trucks,and beemers and rolls around amidst dogs and guns and fish, and occasionally bounces out of the truck or boat. rolling and floating. A good thermos develops an outside veneer of scars and scrapes and dings, each a “badge of courage” of sorts.
Inside the thermos, each successive pot of coffee leaves an indelible residue stain sometimes several millimeters thick. After some years, this stain can get thick enough to offend members of the opposite sex.
Sometimes we must accede to their wishes and clean the thermos, somewhat grudgingly and perhaps giving only a token cleaning.
Ways to clean one’s thermos:
1. Do it yourself. Most of us men accomplish this satisfactorily by rinsing the thing out with cold water….once a month or so. Still, the veneer of stain builds up, but doesn’t affect the coffee taste too much. If the thermos NEVER sees soap, the coffee will not taste like soap. Life is good.
2. Contract with a woman willing to clean the thermos for a period of time. This usually entails other contracts, such as the “m” (marriage) word. I did this, but after 15 years, she decided that my thermos could revert to the #1 method, “or else she walks”. I didn’t pursue that subject. My coffee tastes like soap oftener than not.
3. Leave your thermos (or favorite coffee pot) where it falls into the clutches of a woman who carries anti-bacterial soap and vinegar and uses it for all tasks. Commonly these ladies have professional titles such as “head nurse” or “medical instructor”.
They will subject your poor innocent thermos to several hours of boiling with hot vinegar and other chemicals. You won’t even recognize the poor creature anymore. It will be clean, and perhaps pounds lighter than when you last used it. When you arrive home, the odor of hot vinegar permeates the neighborhood.
All your neighbors will know,”The thermos from hell is now clean”.
Such is fate.
posted by Daniela | 8:27 AM
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