'Tis a Mad Scientist in Battle Ground
The crazed scientist labored long hours into the night in the hidden laboratory. Strange tools did he use. Weird vapors emanated from the roof smoke stacks, each time he fired up the hidden gizmos.
Often, loud shrieks of dismay and anger were heard. Haggard and weary, he would creep from the dungeon late at night, and show up late, tired and lethargic at work each day. His normal cheerful demeanor slowly changed to sullen moods and strange bursts of anger and expletives would come with no warning.
Finally his friends and neighbors and peers approached his poor downtrodden woman. They crowded to her front door on a day when he was away at work and knocked. The woman opened the door, looked at them, and peered furtively about, looking to see if “he” was watching from some hidden vantage point.
”What is the fiend up to now? Is this some strange device to rid the world of imaginary aliens or ghosts?” “Why do you stay with that wacko?”
The poor woman was clearly in fear for her life. She quietly beckoned them to enter, then she closed all the doors and windows, and even checked that the phones were properly on-hooked. She ushered them to the darkened dining room, where a black cloth with strange symbols hid something on the table.
“OH, it’s so terrible, and much worse than anything you could imagine. He’s possessed with this vision, and it’s so clouded his mind that he cares naught for his work, his children, his dog, or me. He’s been pissing around in the garage and the bathroom trying to get this new project to work. He left the hair dryer on for 20 minutes once last week, made a heck of stink. Finally last night, I think he was successful, so maybe this hell of the last 2 months will finally cease.
Let me show you. Stand back, everyone!”
She furtively whisked the blanket off the object on the table.
The friends and neighbors gasped in awe and disbelief.
“It cannot be! This is terrible. What is it? What are they?”
The poor woman answered: “He has managed to glue linoleum strips on old shoes so we can perform ballroom dancing skits on rough concrete sidewalks.”
Often, loud shrieks of dismay and anger were heard. Haggard and weary, he would creep from the dungeon late at night, and show up late, tired and lethargic at work each day. His normal cheerful demeanor slowly changed to sullen moods and strange bursts of anger and expletives would come with no warning.
Finally his friends and neighbors and peers approached his poor downtrodden woman. They crowded to her front door on a day when he was away at work and knocked. The woman opened the door, looked at them, and peered furtively about, looking to see if “he” was watching from some hidden vantage point.
”What is the fiend up to now? Is this some strange device to rid the world of imaginary aliens or ghosts?” “Why do you stay with that wacko?”
The poor woman was clearly in fear for her life. She quietly beckoned them to enter, then she closed all the doors and windows, and even checked that the phones were properly on-hooked. She ushered them to the darkened dining room, where a black cloth with strange symbols hid something on the table.
“OH, it’s so terrible, and much worse than anything you could imagine. He’s possessed with this vision, and it’s so clouded his mind that he cares naught for his work, his children, his dog, or me. He’s been pissing around in the garage and the bathroom trying to get this new project to work. He left the hair dryer on for 20 minutes once last week, made a heck of stink. Finally last night, I think he was successful, so maybe this hell of the last 2 months will finally cease.
Let me show you. Stand back, everyone!”
She furtively whisked the blanket off the object on the table.
The friends and neighbors gasped in awe and disbelief.
“It cannot be! This is terrible. What is it? What are they?”
The poor woman answered: “He has managed to glue linoleum strips on old shoes so we can perform ballroom dancing skits on rough concrete sidewalks.”
posted by Daniela | 5:54 PM
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