Battle Ground Reflector Action NEWS LIVE!!
News Guy: “Well folks, here we are once again at a big traffic tie-up on SR 503 north of Lewisville Park. There are a couple hundred folks milling around, taking pictures and looking up the hill at a house by dead trees and brush”.
News guy asks one of the spectators: “Sir, What is going on up there?”
“We see a bald old fart who thinks he is a Tarzan Impersonator. Looks like some overweight guy is standing on his deck rails, wearing camo skivvies…pounding his chest and yelling loudly for all the world to hear”.
Camera zooms on a back porch. Bald old fart in skivvies is pounding his chest…
.Newsguy shrieks: “Where’s my mike? Where’s the zoom mike? Sound starts:
“KAREEGA”,tump tump “KAREEGA” tump tump, ”JANE HAPPY!JANE HAPPY!”
The news anchor says “What is all that…? Good Golly, aren’t there laws against Tarzan Impersonators? That is one sick old dude”.
The site news guy says: “I am learning more. Apparently that’s the Emery’s again…something about putting in new sinks, they had no running water for three weeks, been throwing dishwater down the hill, which explains all the dead trees. I gather county issued another environmental code enforcement violation….”
Anchor: “This spectacle they put on will surely get us on the national news…Do we want that? What’s happening now?”
Site news guy…” I think he yelled so loud that his false teeth fell out into a puddle of old dish water”
Camera zooms in…Bald guy balanced on deck rails looks down toward puddle, loses his balance and falls off deck railing into large puddle of rancid dishwater…
He’s moaning and groaning, rolls about a bit, splashes around and climbs out, with oil stains and tomato juice running down his back. He runs up onto deck, climbs onto railing once again and with arms outstretched holding his false teeth, yells: “ FOUND EM ”, and disappears into house.
The milling crowd cheers and hollers for more. Then, realizing the show is over, they climb into their old cars and rusted pickups and in Battle Ground Bomber fashion, roar off in clouds of burning oil, screeching tires and flying mud clods.
News Anchor turns toward camera: “Well folks, that’s just another normal day north of Battle Ground, Washington.”
News guy asks one of the spectators: “Sir, What is going on up there?”
“We see a bald old fart who thinks he is a Tarzan Impersonator. Looks like some overweight guy is standing on his deck rails, wearing camo skivvies…pounding his chest and yelling loudly for all the world to hear”.
Camera zooms on a back porch. Bald old fart in skivvies is pounding his chest…
.Newsguy shrieks: “Where’s my mike? Where’s the zoom mike? Sound starts:
“KAREEGA”,tump tump “KAREEGA” tump tump, ”JANE HAPPY!JANE HAPPY!”
The news anchor says “What is all that…? Good Golly, aren’t there laws against Tarzan Impersonators? That is one sick old dude”.
The site news guy says: “I am learning more. Apparently that’s the Emery’s again…something about putting in new sinks, they had no running water for three weeks, been throwing dishwater down the hill, which explains all the dead trees. I gather county issued another environmental code enforcement violation….”
Anchor: “This spectacle they put on will surely get us on the national news…Do we want that? What’s happening now?”
Site news guy…” I think he yelled so loud that his false teeth fell out into a puddle of old dish water”
Camera zooms in…Bald guy balanced on deck rails looks down toward puddle, loses his balance and falls off deck railing into large puddle of rancid dishwater…
He’s moaning and groaning, rolls about a bit, splashes around and climbs out, with oil stains and tomato juice running down his back. He runs up onto deck, climbs onto railing once again and with arms outstretched holding his false teeth, yells: “ FOUND EM ”, and disappears into house.
The milling crowd cheers and hollers for more. Then, realizing the show is over, they climb into their old cars and rusted pickups and in Battle Ground Bomber fashion, roar off in clouds of burning oil, screeching tires and flying mud clods.
News Anchor turns toward camera: “Well folks, that’s just another normal day north of Battle Ground, Washington.”
posted by Daniela | 6:45 AM
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