An Oldie but Goodie

Context: This is from August of 2003...a little email I got from my mom (Briggie) about my dad (RFE, Chief) entitled "A New Woman for Dad".

Hi everybody,
> Dad... who is addicted to bread, I am convinced of it now...
> had bread withdrawal tonight before he went to help Joe on his house...
> I bought a loaf 2 days ago and it is gone already and I slipped...
> I did not run to the store to get him another loaf...
> Knowing him for over 30 years (or do I???)
> I was able to tell by the way he swept
> through the house and out the door that he was NOT happy with his woman.
> I am sure he thought about trading his present wife (that is me) in for a
> new model ... so I decided to get him a "New Woman"
> I even placed her on his side of the bed...
> She looks actually pretty cute on the flowered sheet...
>
> Kids, are you ready to meet your "Stepmother"???

See Below.