Blue Flapper
Background: In May 1998, Daniela Emery’s (danidoodle) entire belongings were moved to SLC in the bed of the Emery Ford Pickup truck, covered by blue tarps which flapped and dissolved into bits at 70 mph on the 800 mile trip.
Wednesday, July 6, 1998 “This is Dan Rather with another CBS News investigative report: ”We have more facts concerning the nationwide NASA alien intruder alert issued on Saturday May 3.”
“USAF spokesmen now confirm that three interceptor search and destroy missions were flown out of Portland, Oregon, Mountain Home, Idaho, and Hill AFB in Ogden, Utah.
“Satellite photography spotted a blue cloud originating in Portland, OR, carried on a fast wind up the Columbia and Snake River drainages. AWACS infrared targeting attempted to coordinate airstrikes but in every case when the F-15 Eagle pilots attempted to verify the target, they found an orange old Ford pickup parked beside the freeway. Two women were supervising an eccentric bald man about how to adjust blue tarps.”
Time lapse aerial photography shows a series of blue dust splotches along the freeway, roughly every 8 miles along the 800 mile trip. Surveillance audio every ten minutes for two days reveals: “Dad, we are flapping! Please stop now and adjust the tarps, OR ELSE YOU ARE TOAST!”
Curiously, the Environmental Protection Agency reported hazardous waste contamination at the Twin Falls Idaho Sewage Treatment plant on that Saturday evening. The plant screens and working parts were all jammed up by cosmic blue dust. After several weeks of analysis, Center for Disease control laboratories in Atlanta determined the dust consisted of minute particles of blue plastic tarp, heat warped by high speed winds.
Sewage treatment plant crews followed the trail up a clogged sewer line to a Super 8 motel. Reportedly on that Saturday, three blue skinned people had rented a room for the evening. They apparently showered or vanished, and were not seen elsewhere in Twin Falls.
Dumpsters and trash receptacles on the southbound lanes of I-84 and I-15 contained cups, plates and travel trash covered with the curious blue salt. None of these events coincide with a purchase of blue tarps at a Twin Falls Costco on Saturday evening, or with a blue salt explosion at the Salt Lake City landfill the following Tuesday. Two ragged blue tarps were found in the landfill debris with more travel trash from Battle Ground, WA.
“This unsolved mystery, may show up later on “Twilight Zone”
Dan Rather, signing off.”
Wednesday, July 6, 1998 “This is Dan Rather with another CBS News investigative report: ”We have more facts concerning the nationwide NASA alien intruder alert issued on Saturday May 3.”
“USAF spokesmen now confirm that three interceptor search and destroy missions were flown out of Portland, Oregon, Mountain Home, Idaho, and Hill AFB in Ogden, Utah.
“Satellite photography spotted a blue cloud originating in Portland, OR, carried on a fast wind up the Columbia and Snake River drainages. AWACS infrared targeting attempted to coordinate airstrikes but in every case when the F-15 Eagle pilots attempted to verify the target, they found an orange old Ford pickup parked beside the freeway. Two women were supervising an eccentric bald man about how to adjust blue tarps.”
Time lapse aerial photography shows a series of blue dust splotches along the freeway, roughly every 8 miles along the 800 mile trip. Surveillance audio every ten minutes for two days reveals: “Dad, we are flapping! Please stop now and adjust the tarps, OR ELSE YOU ARE TOAST!”
Curiously, the Environmental Protection Agency reported hazardous waste contamination at the Twin Falls Idaho Sewage Treatment plant on that Saturday evening. The plant screens and working parts were all jammed up by cosmic blue dust. After several weeks of analysis, Center for Disease control laboratories in Atlanta determined the dust consisted of minute particles of blue plastic tarp, heat warped by high speed winds.
Sewage treatment plant crews followed the trail up a clogged sewer line to a Super 8 motel. Reportedly on that Saturday, three blue skinned people had rented a room for the evening. They apparently showered or vanished, and were not seen elsewhere in Twin Falls.
Dumpsters and trash receptacles on the southbound lanes of I-84 and I-15 contained cups, plates and travel trash covered with the curious blue salt. None of these events coincide with a purchase of blue tarps at a Twin Falls Costco on Saturday evening, or with a blue salt explosion at the Salt Lake City landfill the following Tuesday. Two ragged blue tarps were found in the landfill debris with more travel trash from Battle Ground, WA.
“This unsolved mystery, may show up later on “Twilight Zone”
Dan Rather, signing off.”
posted by Daniela | 10:20 AM
2 Comments:
Unfortunately for me, this story actually happened. Except the Dan Rather part, that is.
Since that day, I get the biggest kick out of seeing Blue Flappers on the freeway!
The only way to move is the REDNECK WAY TO MOVE!
and to this day, she has NEVER let me forget all my mistakes:
1. not renting a trailer
2. not buying good tarps
3. not using good tie downs
4. driving too fast
5. not stopping often enough
6. spoofing "divine intervention" at the thought of getting toasted.
7. calling the jets "divine protection".
dad
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